You are never alone -- by Kendall Tuchkova

About one week after most of the United States went into lockdown, in March 2020, an acquaintance of mine posted a request on social media: “Dear anyone who has family or friends to endure this quarantine with, could you please be a little more sensitive to those of us who have to go through this living alone without loved ones.”

Though we hadn’t been in lockdown very long it was clear my friend was feeling lonely. My heart went out to her, and I was grateful to see many comments of love and support in response to the post. Yet I wondered if those comments would be enough to bring my friend comfort. What was it she was truly searching for?

Even before the isolation resulting from the recent pandemic, loneliness has been considered a health problem throughout the world. A 2018 study in the United States found that more than 60% of adults feel lonely, and claimed that loneliness is “more dangerous than obesity" (https://about.nextdoor.com/nextdoor-launches-global-campaign-to-unite-neighbors-against-loneliness-and-social-isolation). An app called Nextdoor aims to combat loneliness by connecting individuals with their neighbors, and this can certainly make a difference. It’s wonderful to be an active member of a community and to nurture friendships with those around us. But, I have found that relying on others to make us feel better isn’t a surefire solution to anything. From a material standpoint we are “only human,” so relationships can sour, support groups can disband, or friends can fall out of touch with one another, -- potentially robbing us once again of our joy and satisfaction and making us feel isolated.

But, what if we change our viewpoint from a material to a spiritual perspective? I've found that relying on Spirit (another name for God) offers a much firmer foundation for truly eradicating loneliness. Many years ago, I had an experience that illustrates this.

I had returned to the States after living abroad following college and had moved back in with my parents. Despite living in a large city with much to do and lots of friends and family nearby, I felt terribly lonely. I missed traveling and was in a long-distance relationship that wasn’t going so well. While I may not have seemed unhappy on the outside, inside I felt depressed, sad, and unloved.

One day, my mother came into my room to ask me a question. I got very upset with her, and we ended up arguing - something that had never happened before. After she walked out I felt awful. I realized that my attitude needed to change, but I wasn’t sure what to do. I was steeped in self-pity for how miserable I was and how mean it had made me be to my mom. It was like a darkness had overwhelmed my thoughts and was trying to obscure any opportunity for inspiration. So, I did the only thing I could think of: I turned to God. That night, as I lay in bed, I silently and tearfully pleaded, “Please, God, help me.”

Having been raised in Christian Science, I know that God is good and a “very present help in trouble"(Psalms 46:1). It was natural for me to look to Him for healing. But I never expected the response that came that night. Immediately after my cry for help my consciousness was filled with light. It was a light so tangible and pure that it was all I could see and feel. Its warmth embraced me, and I felt deeply and genuinely loved. It was a love so fulfilling that all feelings of sadness, loneliness, and depression disintegrated.

I fell asleep and woke the next morning a new person. I was joyful! I had the confidence to end the long-distance relationship which had seemed to be the cause of much of my suffering and humbly apologized to my mother for my behavior the day before. I moved forward with looking for a job and, when I found something that would require a move to a new city and country, I made that transition with ease. Most importantly, I have never forgotten what it felt like to be so aware of God’s presence. I realized that I could never be alone, because God was always right there with me.

So, how can others, such as my friend, feel this same, all-encompassing love? I find that turning to the Bible and the writings of Mary Baker Eddy are great places to start. Within them, we find an understanding of life as spiritual and learn more about God’s love for us. In fact, John tells us "God is love" (I John 4:16). And Mary Baker Eddy, the Founder of Christian Science, writes, “Remember, thou canst be brought into no condition, be it ever so severe, where Love has not been before thee and where its tender lesson is not awaiting thee. Therefore despair not nor murmur, for that which seeketh to save, to heal, and to deliver, will guide thee, if thou seekest this guidance"(The First Church of Christ, Scientist, and Miscellany, Mary Baker Eddy, pp. 149:31–4).

I love to read about the numerous Bible characters who were helped by divine Love - at moments when they probably felt quite lonely. There’s Hagar and her son, who were sent into the wilderness on their own with only some bread and a little water; Joseph, who was sold into slavery by his brothers and later thrown in jail for being falsely accused; and of course, Christ Jesus, whose disciples, his closest followers and friends, couldn’t even stay awake to watch with him the night before he was arrested.

Yet God, divine Love, led Hagar and her son to water and helped them flourish in the wilderness; God brought Joseph out of jail and into a position of authority under Pharaoh, where he was reunited with his family; and God gave Jesus the ability to forgive those who crucified him and to demonstrate that Life, God, is eternal. In each of these situations, just like in mine, it appeared that these individuals had no one to rely on. They were without friends. But, wouldn't you agree that their best friend, God, was right there with them, - always listening, guiding, comforting, healing, and loving them? What a great friend to have.

I once heard a story about a young man who was trying to understand the omnipresence of God. He asked a Christian Scientist how he could trust that God was with him everywhere - even someplace far off like outer space!

The reply came, “Is there anywhere you can go that your reflection cannot follow?”

“No,” the questioner responded. “My reflection is always with me.”

The Christian Scientist agreed, “Yes. And since you are God’s reflection, then there isn’t anywhere you can be without God being there, too.”

No matter where we are - at work or home, in a big city or a small village, in a foreign country or a well-known one - and no matter what we are doing - teleworking, quarantining, or interacting frequently with others, it is impossible to be separated from God, good. As Mrs. Eddy wrote in a poem titled “Love”:

Thou to whose power our hope we give, Free us from human strife. Fed by Thy love divine we live, For Love alone is Life; And life most sweet, as heart to heart Speaks kindly when we meet and part. (Poems 7:7)